When I saw that I’d missed a call from my mother an hour earlier, it felt ominous.
When I called back, she confirmed. “I just called to tell you; Clarence Carter has died.”
Clarence had an indelible impact upon my existence. I can say no more without revealing familial truths not meant for public disclosure. But I needed to publicly acknowledge his passing.
I would love to give credit to the background artist, if anyone can clue me in.
Several years ago, I decided to acknowledge The Mothers of all my friends in thanks for the great work they did raising their children.
I searched for the mailing addresses of the Mom’s I’d personally met over the years, so that I could send them actual Mother’s Day cards.
This also helped me remember to send cards to my Mom, Aunts, Cousins and friends who were Mom’s, themselves.
I did pretty well for a few years. In fact, this is the first year since starting that I completely hosed it.
Sorry, Cindy, Carol, Zoey, Jen, Darcus, Charlene, Inez, Penny, Sammie, Pollie Alice, Annette, et al.
Happy Mother’s Day.
Luther Vandross – Promise Me
Hiroshima – One Fine Day
DeBarge – I Like It
Rose Royce – I’m Going Down
Chicago – If You Leave Me Now
Dr. Buzzard’s Original Savanah Band – Sunshower
Eurythimics – Here Comes The Rain Again
10,000 Maniacs – Like The Weather
The Police – Invisible Sun
Thompson Twins – Frozen In Time
Ladytron – Kingdom Under The Sea
Malcolm McLaren – Call A Wave
Side Effect – I Can’t Play
Odyssey – Don’t Tell Me, Tell Her
Odyssey – Don’t Tell Me, Tell Her
Angela Bofill – Angel of the Night
Kellee Patterson – If It Don’t Fit Don’t Force It
Con Funk Shun – Confunkshunize Ya
Webster Lewis – I Just Want To Blow
Str4ta – Kishasa FC
Fauna Flash – Ten
Richie Havens – Shouldn’t All The World Be Dancing
Tunde Olaniran – Mountains
Off – Electrica Salsa
Phantom Tails – All Your Cities
Hoyt Curtin & Jay Burnett – Jane, Get Me Off This Crazy Thing!
Going through record bins at a local thrift store, I laugh aloud when flicking fickle fingers find quite the surprise to my eyes: the 12-inch single of Joe Tex – “Ain’t Gonna Bump No More”.
I snag it immediately, fond memories of it playing on the radio as teenaged Jaméz listened to this song joyously with friends.
‘Ain’t Gonna Bump…’, penned by Tex and Buddy Killen, is from the 1977 Joe Tex album “Bumps & Bruises”.
At the time of its release during the 4 or 5 years of the disco era, the big dance craze of the day was neither The Hustle nor The Freak, but The Bump. Joe and Buddy seized the moment to create this hilarious parody of the fad.
Joe sings of how he was at the disco, rarin’ to go and ready to get on down. A woman joins him on the dance floor. She does a dip and nearly breaks his hip as she knocks him down doing The Bump.
From there the first chorus begins, “I ain’t gon’ bump no more with no big fat woman”.
With an intro subltely influenced by the aforementioned “The Hustle” by Van McCoy (1975), ‘Ain’t Gon’ Bump…’ goes on for a total of 6 minutes, 45 seconds of disco mockery.
The song reached number 12 on the Billboard Hot 100, and 7 on the Billboard R&B charts. Pre-dating MTV, there is no official music video, but I remember a televised performance in which an attractive plus-sized woman joins Joe on stage. Of course, he falls to the floor with the first bump of her hip.
Hard to imagine the light-hearted romp would get any play at all in today’s uber PC, ism-phobic world. I certainly don’t have the stones to put it in a dj set.
Still, as cringe as ‘Ain’t Gon’ Bump…’ might seem, any offense pales compared to its B-side, “Be Cool (Willie Is Dancing With A Sissy)”.
“But let me hush my mouth, ’cause that might be his bag” – Joe Tex
Your Favourite Gay Uncle will be playing records at the May Day Festival in Powderhorn Park on Sunday May 3rd, 2026.
There are several sound stages. I have the honor of spinning records with KRSM from 2pm to 4pm. Shout out to The People’s Sound for carrying the torch these past few years!
Here is a map for planning your May Day in the Park.
jamezicarius 